The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Oh might and great Oracle who can find pleasurable uses even for an IBM
> PC (old 4.77 mhz version) who's zit juice (where you to have zits that
> is) I am not worthy clean from you mirror answer me, you humble
> suplicant, this question.
> 
> We are here at ****** Comics are planning on dedicating one of our
> upcomming issues of "Secret Origins" to you and we where wondering
> that, since you are eteranl and therefore don't realy have an origin,
> if you could tell us how you came to be in possesion of your mighty
> <ZOT!> power.
> 
> Thank You,
>         Eds.

And in response, thus spake the Usenet Oracle:

}  In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.  And the
}  earth was without form and void, and darkness was on the face of the
}  land.  And the Lord said, "Let there be light!"  And there was
}  light.  And the Lord saw the light, that it was good.  And it was
}  evening, and it was morning, Day One.
}  
}  And it came to pass that man ate of the fruit of the tree of
}  knowledge of good and evil.  And with this knowledge came curiosity,
}  and many questions.
}  
}  And the Lord called upon the Oracle, to answer the questions of man.
}  And the Oracle, exceedingly arrogant in those days, demanded of God,
}  "What's in it for me?"  And the Lord said, "Let there be Lisa!"  And
}  the Oracle saw Lisa, that she was very good.  And it was the
}  beginning of a beautiful relationship.
}  
}  And it came to pass that the Lord became angry with man, and planned
}  a great flood to wipe out every living thing.  But And Lord saw Noah,
}  that he was righteous, and commanded him to build an Ark, and to take
}  upon it of every animal two, a male and a female.
}  
}  And Noah asked of the Oracle,
}  
}  > God told me to build an Ark.  But he didn't tell me how.
}  > Can you?
}  
}  And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}  
}  } Make the length of the ark three hundred cubits, its breadth
}  } fifty cubits, and its height thirty cubits.
}  }
}  } And include a moon roof, AM/FM/cassette stereo, side-view
}  } mirrors, anti-lock brakes, driver's side airbag, and
}  } optional power windows and power locks.
}  }
}  } And make it all for $199 down, and $199/month.
}  }
}  } You owe the Oracle a unicorn.
}  
}  And Noah built the Ark, as commanded, and paid the Oracle tribute of
}  one unicorn, leaving him with one very lonely unicorn.
}  
}  And Noah begot Shem.  And Shem asked of the Oracle,
}  
}  > How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could
}  > chuck wood?
}  
}  And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}  
}  } A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could
}  } chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, silly.
}  }
}  } You owe the Oracle a more interesting question.
}  
}  And Shem begot Arpachshad.  And Arpachshad asked of the Oracle,
}  
}  > How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could
}  > chuck wood?
}  
}  And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}  
}  } That question is unoriginal, insipid, and downright annoying.
}  } Don't ever ask it again.
}  }
}  } You owe the Oracle an apology.
}  
}  And Arpachshad begot Shelah.  And Shelah asked of the Oracle,
}  
}  > How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could
}  > chuck wood?
}  
}  And Shelah begot Eber, and Eber asked of the Oracle how much wood a
}  woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.  And Eber
}  begot Joktan, and Joktan asked of woodchucks as well.  And Joktan
}  begot Jobab, who, for a change of pace, asked when drive-in movies
}  would be invented.
}  
}  And the questions about woodchucks continued for one hundred
}  generations.  And the Oracle came before God, and said unto him,
}  "Lord, I have promised to answer all of man's questions.  And I have
}  provided good answers, ever since Cain asked me whether he was his
}  brother's keeper.  And for one hundred generations now, I have
}  answered man's incredibly annoying question about woodchucks.  If
}  something isn't done about this, I'm going to do something drastic."
}  
}  And the Lord replied, "I will send my only begotten Son, to spread
}  the word, to tell man not to ask the woodchuck question."  And God
}  so loved the world that he did send his only begotten Son, in order
}  that man may not ask the Oracle the woodchuck question.
}  
}  And Jesus spoke to the multitudes of loving God, and loving one's
}  neighbor, but nary a word about woodchucks.
}  
}  And the Oracle observed, and was displeased.
}  
}  And Judas came to ask of the Oracle,
}  
}  > How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could
}  > chuck wood?
}  
}  And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}  
}  } Judas, I was going to kill the next person that asked me that
}  } question, but since I like you, I'm going to give you another
}  } chance.
}  }
}  } You owe the Oracle a certain favor...
}  
}  And thus it came to pass that Judas betrayed Jesus to the Romans.
}  And on the cross, Jesus let out a cry,
}  
}  > Oracle, Oracle, why hast thou forsaken me?
}  
}  And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}  
}  }
}  
}  For the Oracle had gone to Radio Shack for the parts to build
}  himself a <ZOT!> gun.
}  
}  But the Lord intervened, and said to the Oracle, "Oracle, I release
}  you from your obligation to answer man's questions.  It is not worth
}  anyone getting <ZOT!>ted over."
}  
}  And the Oracle was pleased, and spent the better part of the next
}  two millenia with Lisa, generally having a great time, and answering
}  no questions about woodchucks.
}  
}  And it came to pass one day that the Pacers were playing the
}  Celtics, and the Oracle went to Indiana to see the game.  However,
}  the Oracle made a wrong turn, and the next thing he knew,
}  supplicants were again lining up to ask questions of the Oracle.
}  
}  And the first supplicant's question was,
}  
}  > How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could
}  > chuck wood?
}  
}  And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}  
}  } <ZOT!>
}  
}  It was with the next supplicant that the tradition of grovelling
}  began.
}  
}  You owe the Oracle the first issue of the "Cain's wife" edition of
}  "Secret Origins."